Breakfast of Champions

D.L.F., while playing with a small toy motorcycle: "This motorcycle is not big yet."

"Oh," I said. "Is it going to grow?"

D.L.F. nodded.

"Do you have to feed it special motorcycle food to help it grow?" I asked.

"Yes," D.L.F. said.

"Oh. What kind of food do motorcycles like to eat to grow big and strong?"

D.L.F.: "I think...oatmeal."

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I am starting a list of house rules that I never knew I would have to make until I heard myself saying them to my children. Today's is: "Don't chew on the toilet seat."